out to eat

16 weeks old!

14+ weeks old

Nursing Adam at the hotel.

Oldest daughter on her computer, middle daughters watching tv, baby son nursing. At the hotel where we spent our last nights before the move.

My 4-year old daughter absently rubbing baby brother's head while he nurses.

Big boobie hug.

Adam usually holds onto my shirt or my finger when he's nursing. He is so sweet.

Breastmilk is more important than ever for us now.

After we moved Adam saw a new pediatric cardiologist, she said the hole in his heart is big and will need operating before he is six months if it doesn't start closing on it's own. Adam is three months old now. Gaining weight is his goal, the more the better, and all my reading points to breastfeeding continuing to be best for him, and so far my doctor agrees.

I nurse him as often as I can and I stay up pretty late with him and nurse him during the night too, he nurses better when he is half asleep because he just relaxes and drinks, when he is awake he tries to hurry to catch up with the milk and that is more tiring for him.

I just moved and didn't have my computer for a while. Time to catch up!

Here we are nursing in the van again. He nurses really well in the van, it's usually a good bit quieter than the house.

Adam breastfed on the plane.

Wasted Milk

In the beginning of Adam's life I pumped when my breasts were too full, I also pumped to keep up my supply if I felt he wasn't nursing enough. I could have FedEx'ed my milk to my new home or I could have tried to bring it with me on the plane. What I should have done was gotten blood tests and what not so I could donate it. I ended up throwing it out a few days before I moved. What a waste, but when it comes time for Adam to eat cereal I will just pump some milk then.

Nursing in public again.

Before we moved we went to the Exploration Place in Wichita, Kansas one last time. They have a castle there and I nursed Adam in the little medieval kitchen. A little boy came in and offered me some plastic food to feed the baby, but I told him the baby only drinks milk right now.

Nursing in our empty home in Kansas before moving.

My Babies...

Adam is my fourth baby and my last, but he has something in common with all three of his sisters, he likes to be held. I know all babies like to be held, at least all the babies I've known, and working in daycare in high school and college that is a lot of babies.

I like to hold them. I think for mammals being close to their young is good for the parent, makes the parent attached to the baby and want to keep them safe and happy and well-cared for. I don't think it does the young any harm either. This is why I sleep with my baby and hold him almost all the time, good for him, good for me, it's a win-win situation.

I am thankful to my husband for working so hard so I can stay home and thankful to my husband and children for the sacrifices they make so I can stay home when my children are small. We wouldn't have a lot more money if I worked, but it would be more. Staying home is worth it though in my opinion, there is nothing money can buy that I would enjoy more than the time I spend with my kids before they start school.

Nursing in public.

This past week I nursed Adam at the mall in the play area twice. I didn't particularly notice anyone staring or looking away either, so that was good. Some people are uncomfortable about seeing a woman nursing her baby, I don't think that it's so much they don't want to see the boob, because really, what's the problem with boobs? I think they just feel uncomfortable about seeing a baby sucking on the nipple, but really, what do they think nipples were invented for?

He's almost as long as the nursing pillow.

Starting to use his hands on purpose and hold on while he's nursing

Nursing Adam while playing a game with my daughters.

9 weeks old!

Almost asleep!

Getting sleepy

I like it when Adam is sleepy and he starts to nurse and his eyes half close or his eyes sort of roll back, he looks so blissful.

Happy. Content. Comfy.

Adam's favorite place to sleep.

Adam has a heart defect, one of the signs of his heart getting worse that I am supposed to watch out for his sleepiness and eating trouble and not gaining enough weight, which goes with not eating well I suppose.

It has been my experience over the years, while breastfeeding my other three children and feeding bottles to babies I watched in daycare or babysat, that babies fall asleep while eating. Warm food, the comfort of sucking, the warm arms and the sound of a beating hard. What could be more comforting?

go to sleep my tired baby when you dream you will feel glad

I sing to Adam often and probably half the time I am making a song up as I go. The day I took this picture I was singing a song, "go to sleep my tired baby when you dream you will feel glad" because Adam was tired and crying. Poor little guy, he gets so tired that he just doesn't know what to do so he ends up crying while I walk or rock or sing him to sleep.

eight weeks old

in the sun, in the van, in the school parking lot

Breastfeeding on the couch in the toddler area of Exploration Place in Wichita, Kansas.

At the childrens museum

Something I thought of the other day

The other day Adam was nursing, he took the left side, then I offered him the right side and he took that one too. I thought to myself, a breastfed baby has more control over the amount of food he is eating. It's not like a bottle where the parent puts in a certain number of ounces, and wants the baby to eat it so they aren't wasting and losing money on unused formula. It's breast milk, it's in the breast, the baby can choose what he needs and leave the rest for another time. It never gets bad, it never gets wasted, no money is lost. And a breastfed baby just has to be getting exactly the right amount every time he eats.

Magical.

It Can't Be This Way With Bottles

I've never used bottles so I don't know, but I just can't see that it can be this way with bottles.

When Adam is hungry I pick him up and sit down, I lift up my shirt and pull down the flap of my bra. He starts to nurse and he nurses as long as he wants, then he lets go and lays his head down and just rests. Sometimes he is awake, sometimes he is asleep, but I know he is happy because his first sleepy smiles were at the breast after nursing. Those little newborn smiles when his eyes are shut and he has a full tummy of warm good milk. Sometimes he is awake and he lays his cheek on my breast and I know he is happy. He can smell mommy, hear mommy, feel mommy, there is really no happier more secure place for an infant.

In the evening when my children are sleeping this is how I relax.

just finished nursing on both sides, almost 7 weeks

I love the moments when he is nursing or just about to or just done, so relaxing to sit and cuddle with him.

Breastfeeding outside on the steps of the deck.

Six Weeks Old

We do a lot of nursing in the van in parking lots.

Nursing in the van again. He always seems to fuss when we are at our second school pick up.

Lots of baby acne on his little face at the moment.

He would sleep like this every time he slept if I never had to do anything else.

In the car after nursing.

Super Mom. Super Challenges.

When Adam was first born he wasn't pooping enough, we went to see a Lactation Consultant and she helped us with our positioning.

Now, at 5 weeks, almost 6 weeks, we're having trouble with overactive letdown, milk coming out too fast, which makes Adam mad when he's trying to nurse. We're having some fore milk and hind milk imbalances, which lead to burping and gas for Adam. But, we're working on it, trying different positioning and different nursing patterns, and lots of patience and persistence.

Nursing has it's ups and sometimes it's downs, but it's worth it and I feel super for powering through the harder times.