Post on Dr Jack Newman's facebook page

I emailed you and received a response from you when my son underwent open-heart surgery in 2012. Before that I have a story and I will share it because it's worth reading and I like to share it, and I think it's educational. When I was growing up in a small town in Wisconsin my neighbor breastfed her third and last baby well past one year. I remember watching her nurse and marveling at the awesomeness of it. There was a woman a few blocks from me who gave piano lessons, I did not take them because we had no money and no piano, but I heard from kids who did that her child would walk up to her and ask to nurse. My mom's cousin had a baby she was nursing who could walk. The daycare my mother worked at when I was a teenager had mothers who pumped for their babies and though by Wisconsin law I could not pick those babies up because I was under 18 I could sit and feed them the bottles of their mother's milk if someone put the baby in my arms. I felt special doing so. The neighbor who breastfed had kids my age as well and we lived next door to one another from when I was four until high school graduation when I left for college. She was a big influence on me. Her daughter and I used to breastfeed our dolls. I had pretty big boobs, I was an average size girl but my bras were for Cs or Ds. Fast-forward to my first baby, I was a young 21-year old, married, living nine hours from home. I had flat nipples and asked my OB during my pregnancy what I should do to prepare for breastfeeding. He said to rub my nipples with a rough wash cloth when I showered to toughen them up for breastfeeding. (What bad advice as it could have triggered pre-term labor)! I did not do this. When my daughter was born she had a fever and I did not get to hold her for 50 minutes. When I did I just put her face to my breast and waited to see what she would do. Of course she cried. Shortly after the first time I got to hold her they took her to the NICU because she had that fever. The first 24 hours of her life are a blur, she is almost 17 now and so much has happened in my lfie since then... I went down to the NICU to try to nurse her a few times, I pumped when a nurse told me to a few times, after about 21 hours she was in my room with me and that is when I learned what a good hospital I was in. I had nurses and lactation consultants helping me get her to nurse. (I did not even know the term latch on then). They said I had inverted nipples (I had always known they were flat) and they kept trying to help me pull them out so my daughter could get a grip. I do not know how we did it, they sent me home with nipple shields to wear when she nursed but "Only for a couple weeks" they advised. They sent me home with breast shells to put in my bra to keep the fabric off my sore nipples. I can only say I was determined not to fail. To me, failure meant giving a bottle of the formula they sent home with me. It may have helped that my husband was from Syria, his mother had breastfed each of her five children for the 14 months that was standard in the 70s when she was having babies, in Syria. She was also a wet nurse for other babies, relatives and strangers. She came to stay with us when my daughter was a month old and she was very encouraging, showing me how to massage my breasts if they were sore, she speaking Arabic and me, English. I used those nipple shields for five months. I went back to work nights when she was three months old and pumped in an office at the telemarketing place where I worked. I went back to college nights when she was four months or five months old and pumped in the bathroom. Remember, this was 1997.... When my daughter was five months old we started baby foods, but started with plain yogurt as was common in her dad's culture. When she was eight months old I met another mom at a mom's group for nursing moms through the hospital where I delivered. She asked how long I planned to nurse. Of the people who have played a pivital role in my life, she is one. She is a big one. Having babysat and been around children my whole life, I LOVED children and still do. I knew bottles ended at one year. When I started nursing my first goal was three months, then six months, then a year. So when she asked me how long I was going to nurse, I said a year. She said, "You know you can nurse longer if you want. If your baby wants." LIFE CHANGING WORDS. My husband said 14 months was how long they nursed babies in Syria because then it was time to have another baby. He and I were in college though so no hurry to have another baby, this one had been unplanned. When she was 2 years and 6 months old her dad left us. She was still nursing, but she was sleeping in her own bed and I in mine. I brought her in with me. I went on to keep breastfeeding her, with no plan of when to stop. I lived in Omaha, Nebraska and one day driving I heard on the radio some folks talking about a woman in Iowa (just 15 minutes from Omaha) who had her son taken away because she was breastfeeding him and he was six years old. My daughter was almost four. I was divorced so it was always in the back of my mind, what if I lost her. I told her mommy's boobies would stop making milk when she turned four. She was four and two months when she was weaned. For months after she would give each breast a hug, a kiss, and a pat when she saw them. My first born is bright, she has always been bright, in gifted classes since third grade, and always healthy, always always the picture of health. We were in Kansas (my second husband being in the Air Force for 12 years, we moved a lot). when her school spent two weeks evaluating her. They came up with her IQ being 141. I know it's not only the four years of breastfeeding, but the kind of parenting that went with it. (That made her IQ so high, her body and mind so healthy and strong). The kind of parent I am, I have always called myself an Explanation Parent, I explain what I want, what I do not want, why you cannot do that, why you should do that. No hitting, no yelling, no time-out. (When my first daughter was 18 months old she had thrown her messy food from her high chair to the carpet twice and I gave her hand a gentle but significant slap and her dad told me not to hit her ever and I never did). As the years went by I learned of Dr. Sears and I realized the parenting I had done since 1997/1998 was categorized if need be, as Attachment Parenting. In 2004 my new husband and I had a baby girl at the same hospital as my first. She was breastfed until I became pregnant when she was about 2-years old. (I miscarried twice while nursing my first baby). I weaned her in a week. She breastfed a total of two years and one or two months. In 2007 in an Army hospital I had my third baby, she was my biggest, weighing 8 lbs 15 oz at birth. The military hospital is different than the civilian one in a myriad of ways... They said every time I wanted to feed her I had to call them first to take a test of her blood. (I don't think so!) I would start nursing her and call them, they were always mad and scolding that I had already started feeding her. I did not care. I fed all my babies on demand, as often as they wanted for as long as they wanted, whether they fell asleep or not. My third baby, also a girl, started sucking her fingers at a month of age, but she went on to nurse for 2 years and 7 months, my only baby to wean herself to that point. That made three babies in ten years, no formula and a total of 8 years and 11 months of breastfeeding. In 2011 I had my last baby, my only boy, I had become fully ensconced into crunchy parenting by then, so I left him intact, I nursed him on demand. But there was a glitch this time. During my pregnancy they said he had a "possible hole in his heart" and it would be looked at when he was born, before leaving the hospital. All three of my girls I went into labor on my own, labored at home longer as my pregnancies went along (laboring at home until 8 cm with a bulging bag of waters with my last) I had planned to labor outside with my last baby for as long as I could then go to the hospital. However, my husband got out of the Air Force and found a job in a new state and was scheduled to leave three days after my due date, so we decided to induce for fear of daddy missing the birth, for fear of holding off on starting the job and losing the much-needed job. My other three labors were 12-13 hours, my last and my induced labor was 6 hours. Never mind the labor, he was born, cord twice around his neck, I held him, I nursed him immediately (though not as fast as my second baby who I held before they cut the cord). The doctors listened to his heart and said it sounded fine. I did not even notice they did not look. I did not ask them to look. I was relieved. We left after one night. It took me no time at all to notice he was not waking to eat. It took me longer to realize he wasn't doing the Milk In Poop Out his sisters had done. I set the timer on my stove for every hours and woke up and woke him to nurse. I did not know his sleepiness was a sign of heart troubles. The first time we saw our Air Force pediatrician my son was one month old, it takes some time to get into the system and he'd seen civilian doctors before that. I told them all the story of my ultrasounds and they all said his heart sounded fine. Our doctor on base said yes, it heart sounded fine, but did I notice his breathing? I said I knew it was funny sometimes, but newborns sometimes breath funny. He said he wanted me to take him to a Pediatric Cardiologist before we moved. I said okay. Long story, shortened, because now I want to get off my computer and go get into bed with my three littles (they are now 9, 6, and 2 and all sleeping in the same bed upstairs). He had a big hole in the bottom (a VSD) and a smaller hole in the top (an ASD). We found out in October 2011, I was told to watch him carefully. My husband had moved already in September, due to money issues my four kids and I didn't follow him until November. We found a Pediatric Cardiologist right away in our new city. She put our baby on meds to make sure he didn't retain fluid. On December 23rd she said he would definitely need surgery to fix his heart so he did not suffer lung damage. On January 12, 2012 my son had open-heart surgery to patch the big hole and close the small hole. He went home four days later. No feeding tube, no formula, just one bottle with two ounces of pedialyte before I got ot nurse him for the first time after surgery. I objected to that bottle, but I was over-ruled. I pumped and froze over 30 ounces during the approximately 24 hours I could not nurse him. When we went to leave they had lost my milk, no matter, I had more. I nursed him about one day after he got out of surgery. four days later we went home. My son is two years and almost 3 months old. He nurses on demand, when he wants to nurse he says to me, "Do you want milk?" and I laugh and say, "Do you want milk?" and he laughs and nods and says, "Yeah!" I think he'll easily nurse for three years, maybe four, if more, then okay! No formula, four babies, eleven years total so far. It is all about support. Thank you, Dr. Newman, for touching lives by helping us do what is best for our babies our bodies, our families, our communities and our planet.

Nursing my fourth 2-year old!

Adam was 2-years old on September 1st, on November 1st I marked my 11th year of breastfeeding, combined, not all in a row.

Thank you.

I posted this on the website of the hospital where I delivered my first two babies. I can never sing the praises for Methodist hospital enough! I had my first baby there in early 1997, I had a lot of trouble getting breastfeeding started but the nurses and lactation consultants were so wonderful, they helped me so much! I went on to nurse my first baby without any formula, a huge goal of mine! I read so often on breastfeeding pages on facebook about the struggles first-time moms have with breastfeeding and how the hospitals where they deliver are not helpful... It's very sad. I had my second baby at Methodist in 2004, because of my success in breastfeeding my first child I had a much easier time getting breastfeeding established the second time. Once again everyone who I came in contact with at Methodist was a gift to me. When my baby was 7-weeks old I found myself at Methodist having an emergency appendectomy. The lactation consultants provided me with a high quality pump and once I could nurse my baby again they let her stay with me until I went home so I could breastfeed her. I had my third baby at an Army hospital in 2007, a very different experience indeed. Due to the women who had helped me in 1997 I knew how to breastfeed and I went on to breastfeed my third baby without formula. I had my fourth and last baby at a hospital in Wichita, Kansas in 2011. My husband was in the Air Force so we had different experiences with doctors and hospitals in five states total. My fourth baby had a heart defect-three holes in his heart- I truly believe it was the guidance of the lactation consultants on February 27, 28, and March 1st of 1997 at Methodist/Childrens who gave me the gift of knowledge, I was able to exclusively breastfeed all four of my children, including my son who underwent open-heart surgery at Duke University Hospital in January 2012. Even he, small as he was, with three holes in his heart, was breastfed without formula, again, a goal of mine, that would not have been possible without the wonderful experience I had with my first baby. So I say, thank you Methodist, thank you to your nurses, thank you to your lactation consultants, thank you for truly caring about your patients, you are making a difference that lasts a life time and I will forever remember you and be thankful because you made a difference in my life and the lives of my children that I can never be thankful enough or find the right words to express.

Goals.

When I had my first baby I said, "I want to nurse for six months" when I got to six months I said, "I hope to nurse her for one year" when I got toward the year mark I met another mom who was nursing a baby about the same age, probably around ten months old. She was on her second baby, I was on my first, she asked how long I was going to breastfeed and I said I supposed a year. This is what I knew when I had my first baby. 1. Babies take a bottle for a year, so, logically, babies who breastfeed do so for a year. That was what I knew. My friend said, "You can nurse longer than a year if your baby wants to and you want to." That opened a whole new concept for me. to be continued...

Eleven Years Total, So Far

November 1st was my 11-year mark! My first baby was born in February 1997 and I breastfed her for 4 years and 2 months. My second baby was born in July 2004 and I breastfed her for 2 years 1 month. My third daughter was born in May 2007 and I breastfed her for 2 years 7 months. My son is still breastfeeding and he is 2 years 2 months old. That adds up to 10 years and 12 months, aka, 11 years. I'm not sure if I have pictures of all my nursing babies on my computer but I am going to find as many as I can.

My son, two years old, still breastfeeding, but the fun is now he can ask to nurse by saying "Milk!" or "Booby!"

My son and his open-heart surgery when he was 4-months old. Exclusively breastfed and still nursing now at almost 25 months.

Someone likes mommy's camera.

Adam has just discovered he loves books.

Toddlers Love Nursing

I think one of the things I like about nursing a toddler is they really show you how much they love to be nursed. Adam will ask to nurse by tipping his head to the side and saying, "Meh?" Which of course means milk. He has recently started twiddling the nipple he is not currently nursing on, "Just to make sure it doesn't go anywhere," is my husband's rationale.

August 17, 2013

My son will be two on September 1st. He nurses to sleep most nights. He nurses during the night a few times. I sleep with him in the recliner or on the couch or in bed. I haven't night-weaned him because he's small and I figure the more milk he gets the better.

Boobs.

These are some of my thoughts on boobs. They are all good. Get over it.

Breastfeeding my 19-month old at the zoo.

The Attention Meter

In a perfect world I would have nothing to do but play with my children. I would not have dishes to wash or meals to plan, I would not have a house to keep at least mostly clean or laundry to wash and dry and put away. In a perfect world I would not have to worry about my own health, I could just play and have fun with my children. In a perfect world I would have many hours each day to give attention to one child at a time no matter how many children I have. In a perfect world each of my children would wait patiently and do something productive with their time while I was having one-on-one time with one of my other children. I do not live in a perfect world. I was a young college student when I became a mom for the first time, I worked a few hours a week in the evenings when my husband was home and I went to school a few hours in the evenings when he was home, he went to work and school during the day. We had just one child. We did not have cable television by choice and probably a little by necessity. We had a desk top computer and internet but it was used mostly for email and reference. We had no smart phones, we had no cell phones, we had no tablets of any kind. I spent most of my time with my child. However, I was a student and I did have homework and that is when I discovered something about my child, and it has been the same with all of my children and I have four children now. I call it the Attention Meter. It is sort of a system of give and take, a system of supply and demand. I noticed that if I was busy with dishes or laundry or homework and my daughter started to get fussy all I had to do was stop and give her some attention and then after 10 or 15 or 20 minutes, depending on her mood, I could go back to what I was doing and I had that amount of time or more to get my task done. I was an AP parent before I ever heard of the term Attachment Parenting, I had my own theories about raising my daughter that I did not read elsewhere and that I have used with all my children and the Attention Meter works, if I remind myself to stop and take care of my child’s needs first. Now that I have four children (ages 16, 8 ½, almost 6, and 19 months) sometimes I feel too busy to stop and I really want to get my work done and I do make my child wait, but I know that it works better for them and for me if I stop and put them first for a few minutes. After all, in most cases my task will wait. I am still working on it, I don’t live in a perfect world and of course I am not a perfect mother, but I try every day to be able to sit down at night and know I had good moments with each of my children that day.

zzzzzzzzzzzz............................................................................................................................................................................... The previous message was brought to you by my cat, Domino. This is Domino, doesn't her back leg look goofy in this picture!

breastfeeding in the parking lot on the way somewhere

adam's three big sisters

i love this handsome boy

adam's first time to climb stairs

we live in an apartment right now, so we have no stairs. adam's physical therapist has been saying for ages to take him to stairs. the weather was warmer one day so we took him and he climbed them and it was awesome!

ah, sometimes i share him with daddy

my husband loves holding the children, especially when they are babies. i'm a baby hog, but here i shared.

adam knows how to just hang

much of the day he is just hanging out, playing, looking at something. i play with him, read to him, listen to music with him, watch Blues Clues with him. hold him and nurse him a lot. here he is on the floor just outside the kitchen.

nursing in public. helping to make it the norm.

human milk for my human baby

education

When I was growing up I wanted to breastfeed my babies. I had a neighbor who breastfed and a second cousin and a woman down my street who I did not know, but heard she breastfed. I had boobs and I wanted to have babies, the thought never crossed my mind that I would do anything other than breastfeed my babies one day. Now, as an adult, I know that some people do not grow up with these ideas. I have learned a great deal about parenting that I did not know back when I was playing with dolls. So, now I know, education is important. If I, as a mother of four, who has breastfed all my babies, want other moms to have this wonderful experience, I need to find a way to tell them that breastfeeding is rewarding and worth the time it takes to get the hang of it! It's hard to know the best way to educate. I post on Facebook. I have this blog that I don't think anyone sees. I wrote an article for New Beginnings, but that is the La Leche League magazine, so those readers already know breast is best. I have started writing an article, here is what I have so far: I Breastfed My Babies and You Can Too! When I had my first baby I did not know that I would go on to become an attachment parent or a breastfeeding advocate. I was an attached parent before I heard of the term or Dr. Sears, and I breastfed because I’d had size D breasts since about seventh grade so I was well aware of my boobs and I always intended to use them to feed my baby one day if I was lucky enough to become a mom. I became a mother for the first time on February 27, 1997, I was 21-years old and a full-time college student at the University of Nebraska at Omaha. I was married and living about eight hours from all my family. I was uneducated about child birth when I was pregnant with my first child, I skipped the part of the pregnancy book that talked about labor and delivery because it scared me. By the time I had my second child seven years later I had a birth plan, but the first time, I didn’t know a thing. I labored at home for only a short time before going to the hospital, I was only three centimeters when they admitted me, and I labored in the bed as much as I could because I was tired and a bit of a wimp. My second baby and third, I would labor at home for more than half my labor… Knowledge is power. My first daughter, I had an epidural, contractions slowed, they broke my water, there was poop in it, my blood pressure dipped pretty low, she was finally born after almost twelve hours of labor and I didn’t get to hold her for fifty minutes. I tried to give her the breast right away and didn’t know how to hold my breast for her, I just pushed her face against it. I didn’t know how to breastfeed, who does with their first baby unless they have been educated? I was only with her for about an hour, maybe less, when they said she had a fever and took her to the NICU. She was a full-term baby and nice and pink and a healthy 7 pounds 10 ounces and had I known what I know now I would have pushed for her to stay with me. I don’t remember much of the first 24 hours of her life, I remember trying to nurse her in the NICU but not being successful. I mostly remember the next day when they brought her to my room and I could not get her to suck because I couldn’t get my nipple in her mouth. I had inverted nipples, I’d never heard of such a thing! Fortunately there were good lactation consultants at the hospital and they helped me. We had our ups and downs, I did not know the term “latch on” then, I just knew I needed my baby to open her mouth wide enough to get my nipple and as much of the areola as possible in her mouth. I had a hard time, I was inexperienced, she was crying and frustrated, it was a hard start. The second night we were in the hospital and the first night she was in my room I walked down the hall during the night to the nurses’ station to ask for a pacifier because she was fussing or crying. I think I left her alone in the room! Times would change for me by the time I had my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th babies. We kept working with the lactation consultant and eventually she gave me a nipple shield that my daughter could suck on when I had it over my nipple, it would draw my nipple into the shield and she had something to hold onto. I was only supposed to use it for like two weeks, but I used it for five months until one day I left it at home and had to nurse her and figured I may as well try without it and I did and then when I got home I threw my nipple shields away. So I say now, to new moms who may be having trouble, use a nipple shield, as long as you are exclusively breastfeeding I don’t think it will hurt your supply, I used one and my daughter went on to nurse for four years and two months. So, other than learning how to get her to latch on, did I have any other problems? Sure, I leaked a LOT, a lot, I’m talking boxes of breast pads, wet shirts all the time at night, but after a few weeks my breasts got the idea how much they needed to make and the leaking lessened. I had cracked, bleeding nipples as well. Looking back this was probably because of lack of experience, or using the nipple shield too long or whatever, but I got through it. I told myself I was ONLY going to breastfeed and I was so so determined. Back in early 1997 they sent me home with a diaper bag and formula and bottles and I took them home and later donated them to a mom I knew. I did give my daughter a pacifier and she took one for about five months. Pumping is an important thing to mention when talking about breastfeeding in my opinion. There are different kinds of pumping, pumping to increase supply and pumping exclusively and pumping to be away from baby. I am LUCKY I never had to pump exclusively and I think the women who do it are Top Notch, seriously, I don’t even know how to describe my admiration for these moms. They are awesome. Some moms pump so they can leave their baby to go shopping or out with friends, some moms pump because they work full or part-time. I pumped to ensure my supply. Pumping for your supply, or pumping to increase supply. First I will say I have a cylinder pump, it is old, my aunt gave it to me and she probably bought it in 1988. I never HAD to pump so I never invested in a good pump. I understand some hospitals and some WIC offices rent out pumps and I think that is a great idea, sometimes I think I should rent one just to pump and donate, but for now I am good just nursing my son on demand. So, pumping to increase supply, this is how the breasts work, when you take milk out they replace it, it is really as simple as that. Supply and demand. So my thought was, I will take out more than my baby is taking and trick my breasts into making more so I have more. More more more, I wanted to have more than I needed because I felt that if I did not have enough I would fail and that was a really big deal to me. I used to nurse her on say, the left, then pump the left until nothing came out and if she nursed on the right too I’d pump that one too, but if she did not I would save that one to start on the next time. o Alternate sides. o Left right left right left right, how many boobs does my mom have? o Pins, bracelets, etcetera. o Established breastfeeding. o Helpful friends and relatives. o Rules for the first month. o Other foods. o Trust the IBCLC more than the doctors, the story of my appendectomy and my 7-week old nursling. o To go out or not go out. o Keeping track of eating, pooping, wetting, sleeping. o The husband. Okay, I have a little list there of topics to touch on! Alternating sides, when you are first nursing you want to alternate the boob you start on. By the way, I always say boob, I don’t say breast, I have no idea why, but that is how it is, I’m 37-years old so I am going to just keep saying boob. So, if I sat down to feed my baby and gave her the right boob then the left then at the next feeding I would give her the left boob and then the right. This is just a good rule for starting out, once breastfeeding is established you can do whatever you need to do, the left one feels fuller but you started on that one last time? The right one was the starting boob last time but she fell asleep right away so you want to nurse starting on that one again? Whatever you want, by the time you’ve been breastfeeding for a solid month or two and you are confident that you are only going to breastfeed your baby then do whatever you feel is right. A mother has good instincts when she learns how to listen to herself first. I have breastfed all four of my children, and I have not used one drop of formula for any of them, and my son had open-heart surgery when he was four months old. Other than graduating from college as a divorced single mom working two jobs, breastfeeding is the thing I am the most proud of. How did I do it without formula? These are my rules for the first month: 1. Breastfeed your baby as soon as possible after birth and for as many minutes as possible. 2. Every time baby wakes up, squeeks, opens her mouth, puts her hand to her mouth, offer the breast. (My second daughter was at my breast sucking for 45 minutes at a time every hour or every hour and a half during the time we were in the hospital and for the early days at home). 3. Hold your baby. (I visited a friend in the hospital when she had her baby, when I got there the baby was in the bassinet and other than when I was holding the baby while I was there she was not being held by mom. Come on mom, hold the baby, no matter what you are feeling holding the baby is very likely to make you feel better, there is science behind this). HOLD YOUR BABY. I could write pages and pages and pages and do a lot of research and list resources, but I am just going to say it many times, hold your baby, a lot, as much as you can, hold your baby. Mammals are meant to be held in their mothers arms when they are newborns. Being held helps them with their heart rate and breathing and body temperature and it helps mother feel connected to her baby. Just, trust me, hold your baby. 4. NO (this deserves all caps) NO BOTTLES. NO PACIFIERS. NO THUMBS OR FINGERS. (I have a finger sucker, she is almost six and she started sucking her fingers when she was one month old. She was not a comfort nurser and did not like any pacifiers. Now, almost six years later I am annoyed with myself that I did not put a sock on her hand when she was too little to pull it off.) ALL your baby’s sucking needs should be satisfied at the breast, I would say for at least a month, but I think three months is a better goal. Why? Because sucking stimulates milk, the supply and demand thing again, the more time your baby is sucking the more milk your breast will make. For crying out loud, don’t waste good sucking on a bottle or pacifier! Please please, your baby should be attached to your nipple most of the time in the first month. Really and truly.

time to brush our teeth!

Being quite the sensory seeker it's not surprising to me that Adam loves to brush his teeth!

Adam's Heart

We are very lucky. When I was pregnant with my first son, Adam, my 18-week ultrasound showed what my doctor called a "possible ventricular septal defect" and after many more ultrasounds my obstetrician said when my son was born they would look at his heart before we were released. They did not look at his heart. They listened to it and said it was fine. In 24 hours we were released. In the early weeks of Adam's life he was always sleepy/sleeping. I set the timer on my stove to wake up and breastfeed him every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. He was so hard to wake. I had breastfed my three girls before him so I knew some babies were sleepy and I did every trick I could to wake him so I could feed him. At Adam's one month check he was finally in the Deers program and in Tricare and I took him to the base pediatrician where we were stationed for the first time. Before that he had seen a civilian pediatrician. I told the new doctor about my pregnancy and how they were supposed to look at his heart at the hospital but did not. The doctor said his heart sounded fine, but he was breathing a little fast. That wonderful Air Force doctor sent us to a cardiologist. The cardiologist said our son had an small ASD, and a larger VSD. We moved to Virginia from Kansas two weeks later and followed up with a cardiologist. She said, "That's a big hole!" She said no one could hear the murmur because the hole was so big the blood wasn't making a noise swishing through it. Our wonderful doctor here in Virginia told us the warning signs of heart failure, which I had never heard of before, she put our son on medicine and she watched him. When Adam was 3 months and 22 days old he had an appointment with his cardiologist, he had lost one ounce of weight, just one ounce, and she said it was time for surgery. She told us on December 23, 2011 that he definitely needed open-heart surgery to save his life. On December 28th Duke called me to set it up. On January 10, 2012 we drove to Duke. Adam had open-heart surgery on January 12, 2012 and he came home on January 16, 2012. Today Adam is 17-months old, he is still breastfeeding (he has never had formula, we made it through everything with breastfeeding) and he receives Physical Therapy and Speech Therapy through Early Intervention. Adam isn't walking but he cruises, he has a few words and he is just starting to eat foods finally.I love him more than words can say.