Last

Adam will be 4-years old on September first, today is August sixth, so his birthday is coming pretty soon. I don't plan to wean him, but knowing he is almost four makes me realize we are living in a year of lasts. Not just his last, last time to breastfeed on the Fourth of July, last time to breastfeed during World Breastfeeding Week, but MY lasts. I have breastfed all four of my children, and this year it was on the Fourth of July that I realized it was my last Fourth to have a nursling. It doesn't even matter in a way because I've never even had the thought, "Oh, here I am breastfeeding my baby on the Fourth of July" but once the idea got in my head I thought about it. I recently had the last birthdays of three of my family members with a nursling in the house. I will soon have my last birthday with a nursling child, on September first it will be the last time I nurse one of my children on their birthday. I don't know when Adam will wean, I think very likely it will be before he turns five. He IS small for his age, due to his heart defect, he only weighs about 26 pounds. And, he is NOT interested in using the potty chair or the toilet instead of diapers (sigh) so he may wean later than he would have if he hadn't been born with three holes in his heart. Most days he only nurses when he wakes up and before bed anyway, I just noticed that, I guess because he is quite busy being almost four. So, I am not sad really about this year of lasts, when I think about my last time nursing Adam on the Fourth of July, but when I think back to how many Fourths I had a nursing baby, and to think that within the next year it is likely that part of my mothering life will be over, it is kind of sad to think about. Mostly, I am thankful. I am thankful I have had support and thankful for the success with my first daughter which led me to feel more confident nursing my second and third daughters and then my son. Breastfeeding is hands down the most useful parenting tool I have and I am thankful it has been a part of my life. I wonder if the last time Adam nurses I will know it's the last time. We'll see I guess.