almost five

Adam is almost 5-years old. He's a small guy, having a heart defect at birth will slow down your growth a bit. Like they say, big things come in small packages and Adam is big on personality in every way.

i love a child with his own sense of style

gentle hands

This little boy of mine is go-go-go most of his waking hours. A couple of weeks ago we took him to the fair and he rode rides and walked around and drank lemonade. At the very end we saw butterflies and I was so happy to see the quiet, gentle boy side of my little guy.

Our Tula is Our Baby Backpack and We Use it For Time-In

We use the tula as a time-in. When Adam is having a rough evening I put him in the tula for a while until he settles down. In this picture I had him in the tula, under my sweater and we went for a walk. Before I had children I worked in a lot of child care centers and we used time out all the time. "Oh, you took a toy, go to time out," "You hit, go to time out," "You bit, go to time-out," Time-out was such an over used punishment but I guess when you are taking care of many children it is the easy way out. That was about twenty years ago, I'm not sure how time-outs go at daycares now. I never used time-out with my first three children, I never had to. With my son, I tried it a few times and it didn't really help and then I read an article about putting little children by themselves to deal with their big emotions and that doesn't make sense. "Hey kid, you've made me upset, I'm not happy with you, go be away alone to think about what you've done," I bet all they think is "I don't like being in here, I want to get out," and now they are even more unhappy than they were when they took a toy or hit their sister or whatever. So I've started saying "Okay, time for the baby backpack," and putting Adam up to get him settled down. Sometimes he starts out so mad he hits me with the straps but then I just tie them so he can't. He always gets himself sorted out, I do my chores and go about my business and let him have a moment to calm, and eventually he says in a perfectly kind and calm and happy voice, "Mommy, I'm all done with the baby backpack" and he is. Adam is still nursing to sleep most nights, I would say every night but last night he nursed and was still awake so I held him and his stuffed cat until he fell asleep. This morning when he woke up he nursed before we got up. He is a good boy most of the time and I have been paying close attention so I can tell what is making him have a hard time when he is having a hard time and I work on heading it off. So, yay for the tula as a tool for time-in and yay for whomever wrote that article about time-in versus time-out, I may be a 40-year old mother of four who knows more about childcare than anything else, but I can still learn new tricks!

oh man, my little man is four!

i am thankful he is four. i am thankful he is healthy and happy and growing. he's a small guy, but he had that heart defect, remember? that sets you back a little. he is still nursing sometimes more often and sometimes less often. i cannot believe he's four!

Last

Adam will be 4-years old on September first, today is August sixth, so his birthday is coming pretty soon. I don't plan to wean him, but knowing he is almost four makes me realize we are living in a year of lasts. Not just his last, last time to breastfeed on the Fourth of July, last time to breastfeed during World Breastfeeding Week, but MY lasts. I have breastfed all four of my children, and this year it was on the Fourth of July that I realized it was my last Fourth to have a nursling. It doesn't even matter in a way because I've never even had the thought, "Oh, here I am breastfeeding my baby on the Fourth of July" but once the idea got in my head I thought about it. I recently had the last birthdays of three of my family members with a nursling in the house. I will soon have my last birthday with a nursling child, on September first it will be the last time I nurse one of my children on their birthday. I don't know when Adam will wean, I think very likely it will be before he turns five. He IS small for his age, due to his heart defect, he only weighs about 26 pounds. And, he is NOT interested in using the potty chair or the toilet instead of diapers (sigh) so he may wean later than he would have if he hadn't been born with three holes in his heart. Most days he only nurses when he wakes up and before bed anyway, I just noticed that, I guess because he is quite busy being almost four. So, I am not sad really about this year of lasts, when I think about my last time nursing Adam on the Fourth of July, but when I think back to how many Fourths I had a nursing baby, and to think that within the next year it is likely that part of my mothering life will be over, it is kind of sad to think about. Mostly, I am thankful. I am thankful I have had support and thankful for the success with my first daughter which led me to feel more confident nursing my second and third daughters and then my son. Breastfeeding is hands down the most useful parenting tool I have and I am thankful it has been a part of my life. I wonder if the last time Adam nurses I will know it's the last time. We'll see I guess.